We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize