my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
