Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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