No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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