that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
two words: eviction party
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
