It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
