Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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