He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
3pm strippers are depressing
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
