just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
