I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
