Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
