I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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