I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I fill condoms, not promises.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
