this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
