i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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