who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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