You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize