i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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