I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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