Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
