i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
