I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
