At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
These tits shall not be calmed
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize