Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize