I cut my penus on the lid.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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