how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
