imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
