You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
