summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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