I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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