so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
