Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
