Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
