Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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