It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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