she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
