i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
