I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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