So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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