can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
