She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
