why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
