I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
