Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she looked like the before picture.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
