I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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