I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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