Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so that wasnt chicken after all
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize