Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
