im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
