Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
