You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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