Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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