did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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