The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
