My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
