New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize