pop tarts are not kleenex
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
