Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
