I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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