I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize