I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
