I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
