Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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