I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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