was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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