For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize