Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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