he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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