Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
