Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
