May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
