Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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