his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
