at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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